i'm writing these confessions to you.

17/07/10

Sat, 17 Jul 2010 17:30:02 -0400

not much has changed. things have got worse with emily after i thought we sorted things. i still hate work, + i’m in on a saturday night when i really wna be out doing something. or someone.

meh.

07/07/10

Wed, 07 Jul 2010 16:48:42 -0400

Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve wrote on here. It feels like so much has happened in the past few weeks, but I wouldn’t really know where to start.

Firstly, I’m still working. Not quite sure how, but I still am. It’s dire here. I’m really not enjoying it. I feel like I was employed to do a job, but no one really knows what to do with me. I just get on with my own thing, hoping its good enough. I shouldn’t complain too much, I managed to convince the director to buy me a £200 flash gun for my camera…
The weeks feel like they’re going super fast, but the days itself really drag. I spend so long twiddling my thumbs + not knowing what to do with myself. I definitely can’t wait til this summer’s over. I need to move back down to Portsmouth + get away from this all.

The main reason I need to get away is because of my ‘best friend’. Over the past 2 weeks we’ve had some serious falling’s out, + as much as I thought they were sorted the other day, they’re not. It’s over now. I literally can’t deal with being on edge all the time. I feel like any petty excuse was used as a way to push me out. You know full well that pathetic excuse for another argument was down to your paranoia. + tbh, the way I was being treated I’m surprised I even gave you the time of day. You can continue to tell people ‘they only know one side of the story’ in some kind of aid to make yourself feel better, but we know the truth. There is no other side. You seemed to have built this barrier around you + your new friends, + can’t be bothered to let me in. It’s laughable the way you’ve changed. You’ve literally turned into a stranger. The way you’ve told me you don’t care about us anymore is disgusting. What the hell did the past year mean to you?!
Everyone knows I can be harsh + opinionated in arguments, but anyone can see that all I’ve been trying to do is get you to understand me. This whole fight was some kind of cry for our friendship to come back. The fact that you throw it in my face is disgusting behaviour. You say I need to grow up. I think you find I’m being very mature about this whole situation. You’re the one that needs to grow up + realise what a prat you’re actually being. It’s like you’ve given up on any hope for us. You honestly need to put yourself in my shoes for abit + see how I’m feeling through all of this. You’re treating me like fucking dirt.
I was the one who spoke up to try + sort this mess out, + if I hadn’t of confronted you yesterday; we’d be going through the silent treatment again, wouldn’t we? You’ve contradicted yourself so much throughout this whole argument. You tell me to speak to you, + not post about it – you’re answering asks about me which would lead anyone to believe we hadn’t originally sorted things out, when we had. You’re also posting how you need to cross people out of your life… this is all, of course, without talking to me. You also made a point of me including someone I never used to like in this stupid post I done - Yes, well done. Things change? You actually have a fucking cheek if you think you can use that against me, when you suddenly became pally again with someone who treated you like a cunt + you supposedly ‘didn’t like’. It’s a 2 way street, + you’re doing every single thing that you’re slating me for.
What makes this even worse is you don’t seem to have the slightest idea what you’re doing to me. You really don’t. Yes, we all go through a lot, + I know you’ve had some bad news lately. Don’t you think I have to? I lost my cat, my Nana’s in hospital, my Dad’s on the verge of loosing his job, I’ve been waiting anxiously for a reply to my letter from my sister, + my Mum’s spent a lot of time at the doctors. But of course, you wouldn’t know all this stuff because you’ve been far too busy with your new social life with your other friends.
I would never once say that I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve said sorry numerous times, which is more than I can say for you. This whole argument 2 weeks ago started over something seriously pathetic, but you allowed it to get out of hand + turn into what it is now; a broken friendship that will more than likely never get fixed. You have to live with the fact you literally tore my heart into two. You know I gave you the fucking world. The amount I done for you, the amount I was there for you when your other ‘best friends’ were treating you like a dick. It was all for nothing, wasn’t it?
I’m sure I’m not the only one who can say you’ve changed. You’ve changed into a disgusting person. Someone who brings their self across as self centred + really small minded. One day something will open your eyes + make you see what you’ve lost. But unfortunately for you, I won’t be there to pick up the pieces.

(PS; don’t attempt to use this post against me. Not only am I doing this on my ‘writes’ blog that doesn’t have many followers, but I can also do whatever the fuck I want since you so kindly chose to not give a shit about my feelings. If you get ‘hate’ for this, you brought it on yourself. You don’t care anymore? Well, neither do I then.)

Asides from all that, things are good. Well, not good; but they’re okay. As I haven’t updated this in so long I obviously haven’t spoke about Lucas dying. My Dad found him last week with ivy tangled in his mouth + throat. He was either poisoned or choked. Obviously, I was completely distraught + that was the first thing to make my week go downhill.
Last week was just a horrible week in general, + I was hoping this week things would start to look up. After all of that shit that happened yesterday though, that’s looking very unlikely.

This weekend I’m moving into my new flat in Portsmouth. Cause of work, I obviously can’t actually move in til September. But me + my Mum are gna go down for a few days, just for abit of time away. Gna move some of the boxes in, that I’ve still got packed up from moving out of the last house. We’ve decided we’re gna go bowling, cinema + nando’s. It’s gna be a nice weekend, + exactly what I need to take my mind off of all this shit going on at home.

I think to sum up, I’m finally getting older + realising that things are gna change. Not too keen on them changing as dramatically as they are, but I’m gna have to deal with it. I guess the people you think you’re gna know forever, never turn out to be the ones you actually do. When I move to Portsmouth I have nothing holding me back now. I’m going to start a new life down there. The only person I’ll drag behind me from home is Charlie. If anything, throughout all of this I’ve learnt how much that boy means to me.

I’m gna start focussing on the people that actually care about me, not the pricks that continuously bring me down.

17/06/10

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 17:31:00 -0400

work is really long. as much as pay day is a really beautiful thing, i cant get into what i’m supposed to be doing cause my manager is just shit. fair enough he hasn’t had ‘experience managing people’ but thats not my problem /: i need some kind of direction + knowing what to do. i just feel like a lost cause most of the time. but i know soon he’s gna realise how much there is for me to do, then i’m gna be ridiculously busy.
do not crave.

anyway. this weeks pay went pretty quickly. gave my mum back £40 that i owed her, then spent £130 on theatre tickets for her birthday. oh, + then i treated myself to a long awaited craig david t shirt |-) haha!

tomorrow i’m seeing charlie for the first time in 2 weeks! thats far too long to go without seeing him. so, i’m really looking forward to that :) saturday i think i’m going pub with the girls + whoever wants to come along. the one good thing about working full time is actually making the most of your weekends.

saw dallas green finally on tuesday. he was so good, but i got a migraine during the gig so felt like i couldn’t enjoy myself as much as i wanted to /: typical! i’m still also pretty gutted he didn’t play ‘day old hate’ + ‘save your scissors’. they’re two of his most favourites + my favourites. but, nevermind!
also on the gig front, found out luke pickett is playing in london on monday night! he’s only supporting some girl (who’s shit, may i add) so he wont be doing many songs i doubt :( but, at least i get to see him again as it’s been far too long since january 2007!

ohohoh! + i’m finally meeting olliver next saturday. cannot waaaaait! (L)

anyway. its half 10 + i wna get an early night. xo

08/06/10

Tue, 08 Jun 2010 16:34:24 -0400

over.
funny how you didn’t attempt to prevent it. you dont seem too fussed atall. empty apologies after i spill my heart out, + you dont understand, mean nothing. i thought you were different, but you’ve hurt me in a way i haven’t even been hurt before.
i finally get something i’ve wanted for so long, + just to my luck it fucks up + gets taken away so soon.

i give up with it all. i really fucking do. i was clearly put on this earth to be alone.

07/06/10

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 15:53:31 -0400

since my last post;

i got a girlfriend
i started my summer job
i went to the summertime ball
i dyed my hair dark

things are okay when i think in the long run. this job is gna be challenging, but worth it for the money/experience. i’m not a fan of early mornings already, but hopefully this will sort my sleeping pattern out somehow. i’m already tired early first day in, lets just hope i actually subject myself to going to sleep early, instead of just staying online moaning that i’m tired.

at the moment though, i feel pretty shitty. ever get the feeling like you’re being used? well, maybe used isn’t the word. but i always seem to feel like i’m some kinda peda-stool to pick people up when they’re bored, or they haven’t got anyone else. maybe i’m over reacting, but effort shouldn’t be stopped just because you can call something ‘yours’. i’m not having doubts, but i’m feeling really shitty cause it feels like you just dont care like you did, before all this.

i shouldn’t feel this down already. i really shouldn’t. ugh.

30/05/10

Sun, 30 May 2010 12:48:00 -0400

so my 20th finally came around + it wasn’t all as bad as i thought. i dont feel any older, dont look any older, + most definitely dont act any older. but, i had a good day. my whole week had been abit up + down. i found out the gaga tickets my dad had bought me were a scam, so i was a little spoilt + pathetic spending the afternoon crying. but, my mum came to the rescue + managed to buy me some tickets for tomorrow’s show. i cant put into words how much i love her, i’m so excited!
but yeah, my birthday was good. went for lunch with keira + beth, then came home + got ready. the turn out wasn’t too bad. half the people that said they were coming didn’t show, but i kinda knew that was gna happen. i got really drunk really early, which didn’t work out well for me towards the end of the night when i saw my ex ex boyfriend. but either way, i spent it with the people i care about most + that’s all that matters.

life is pretty good at the moment. i’m a little nervous to be starting my job on the 7th of june, + i think it’s gna give me a huge kick in the backside. going from doing nothing to working full time for 3 months straight, is gna be abit mad. but, i just keep thinking about the money. if i work, i can save for a holiday/driving lessons/reading spending money/clothes. so, i guess i’m gna be up for the challenge :)

oh, + i really cant wait to see chloerayne on wednesday. (L)

23/05/10

Sat, 22 May 2010 19:40:00 -0400

so, i’m home. today has been such a long, tiring day, but as usual i am still awake past midnight + probably wont get any sleep til stupid o’clock. my sleeping pattern needs some serious sorting out before i start work in a few weeks!
anyway. the last few days at home were nice. i spent them with keira + it was nice to just get on with her again. she spends so much time with dan these days, + i spend so much time back home, that we dont really spend alot of time together. it felt like i had my old friend back, even before we were together. was really nice.
as much as i’ve been looking forward to coming home, it was kinda sad leaving the augustine house. as cliche as it sounds, it was like an end of an era. walking away from my first house away from my parents. i actually had a few little tears in my eyes when i saw how empty my room was as i left. especially with my door key just sitting on the bedside table alone. s’weird.

talking of keira, she’s actually gna come up to london for my birthday, which i thought was really nice of her. she doesn’t have alot of money cause her loan didn’t come through right. but she said that i’ve been a really good friend to her over this year, + she doesn’t wna let me down on my birthday :) made me smile! so yeah, she’s coming down on the thursday evening in which we’re gna have dinner at my mum’s with my sister katie + grandad frank. should be nice!
friday (my birthday) i wna go out for lunch or something in the day. hopefully emily can get it off college so she can come to! nothing like spending the day with my bezzie’s before a night out on the town! that is if you can call your local pub + shitty local excuse for a ‘club’, a night on the town! :’)

as you can tell from my 365, (well, i cant really call this a 365 anymore, but yeah you know what i mean) my life isn’t very interesting anymore. i’m gna be spending the summer working all the time mainly, + got a few bits to look forward to. i need to make the most of the next 2 weeks i have free, cause it’s basically gna be the only time in the summer i do have free! apart from the weekends, that is.

ohohoh, i got my moving date for the new flat today! 12th july :) so gna move most my shit in then, stay for a few days, then move in properly early september.

yeah anyway. i’ll leave this there. not a very exciting update, but i was in the mood for abit of typing.

19/05/10

Wed, 19 May 2010 08:38:00 -0400

back in portsmouth. i really need to start packing today. i’m moving out on saturday, + as much as i’m quite excited as everyone knows my hearts at home, i’m abit sad to be leaving the girls. this year has certainly had some major ups + downs, but i probably wouldn’t change it for the world. it’s taught me so much, + i feel like i’ve grown up within myself quite abit.

i had a good weekend just gone. on friday i went to the pub with koral, charlie, yas, rob + whoever else. got a little merry, but wasn’t a very messy night. saturday i finally met kaifer which was lovely. was really nervous beforehand which is kinda unlike me, but it all went okay + i’m glad i finally saw him. sunday i spent the day with emily. it was really unplanned but so lovely. we had lunch, went to brick lane, had starbucks, bumped into neil, took her for dinner in leicester square, then just spent the rest of the evening walking around in the rain basically. i just remember laughing alot, which made it all so special.
yesterday i got the bird added to my thigh. i’m really pleased with it, but it hurt like a bitch. it’s still stinging abit now actually. i just cant wait to get more added when i come back to portsmouth in september. seems a long way off, but i’m sure it’ll fly round !

have quite alot of plans to look forward to coming up which is good :) plans keep me on my feet, otherwise i’m not quite sure what i’d do with myself.

20/05 - seeing the media head again, to hopefully sign me onto the course :)
22/05 - moving out of the augustine house !
28/05 - my birthday.
30/05 - the monster ball :):) asdfghjkl
06/06 - summertime ball
07/06 - start my summer job at kier london.
29/08 - reading
15/12 - you me at six

yeah. i’m pretty happy right now :) i’ve been having a few down days, but i think i’m finally starting to look on the bright side of things. i’ve also started to be less of a pushover + not caring so much about what other people think. there are some complete dickheads out there, + we should all realise that it’s okay to like/do whatever we want. it’s our lives to lead, + no one should get in the way of that.

12/05/10

Wed, 12 May 2010 15:08:05 -0400

i’ve been having a nice time back home. alot of the time i haven’t really done much exciting, but it’s been nice. not really looking forward to going back to portsmouth if i’m honest, but at least i’m only there to pack + transfer my course. then i’m back home again :)
went to see kids in glass houses at koko last night + it was really good. got pushed + shoved around soo much, but it was worth it ! we met shay afterwards + i thought i was gna pass out, he is actually so beautiful. hnnnng.

today i haven’t done much atall. tidied my room which made me feel better, cause i always feel alot more organised when it’s sorted out.
tomorrow i have an interview/chat with john at kier, to talk about the summer job i’m gna have :) quite excited but a little nervous aswell !

dont actually have anything planned for the weekend. i wna see people + have a good time, cause i’m probably gna go back to portsmouth on monday.
i better check coach times.

05/05/10

Wed, 05 May 2010 07:06:43 -0400

i cannot believe it is may already. where has this year gone?! i haven’t even sorted out any plans for my birthday yet, + thats only like 3 weeks away now. even though i dont wna turn 20, i’m looking forward to abit of a celebration, or whatever. mum’s also buying me a new camera which is gna be very good times. :) i’m probably more looking forward to seeing gaga 2 days after my birthday, + then the summertime ball a week after that :D !
love having plans to look forward to.

s’been about a week since i last wrote on here. idk what’s happened really, nothing major ! has a really good weekend with emily in portsmouth, + we got very drunk on saturday night which was so, so good :’) our hangovers on sunday definitely wasn’t too good though ! either way, good weekend.
i’m now back home at my dad’s. charlie stayed over last night which was nice cause i miss sleepovers with him ! we made silly video’s + laughed about pointless shit. the usual.
today i’m going out with mitch, not sure where. then gna go + surprise my mum at the pub cause she doesn’t know i’m home yet :)
tomorrow i might see dan, idk. + friday facedown ! i’m more excited about seeing levi though, i miss him so much.

anyway, mitch’ll be here in half hour, i better sort my face out.

28/04/10

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:47:14 -0400

this time next month, it will be my birthday. i’ve dreaded turning 20 for a good few years now, + i’m still not really looking forward to it. loosing the ‘teen’ part of my age is gna make me feel like i really need to grow up. :(
i still also have absolutely no idea what i wna do for my birthday. i have a month to plan something :/ i’m normally the sort of person that plans in like, january ! hmm.

i dyed my hair red today :) i know it’s gna be a bastard with upkeep, but i bought a good load of semi perm’s today aswell as the 3 boxes of live xxl i dyed it with. so, yeah. red hair has always been my favourite, so it’s nice to have it back !

i’m quite happy right now, even if i am a little confused. i found out something i didn’t expect to find out about half hour ago, + it made me really happy. it’s just put all current situations a little jgjfbgjkdfbn, but nevermind. everything happens for a reason, right? hopefully something good comes out of all this confusion !

26/04/10

Mon, 26 Apr 2010 08:41:47 -0400

just when my sleeping pattern gets back to normal, i ruin it again. didn’t go to sleep til 5.30am :’) i guess it’s worth it when you’re up talking to extremely lovely people. oh, + i made up with an old friend which made me tres happy. i missed him.

i got an email back from ken (head of fine art) today, + he said he’s going to pass my message onto dave who will get back to me. he shall help me to the transfer. :)
really excited to start again in september, i really hope i enjoy it this time. gna try my hardest to actually be successful with this one.

23/04/10

Fri, 23 Apr 2010 15:24:00 -0400

i went to brighton for the first time today ! it was so, so lovely :) i knew i’d like it there cause everyone told me i would, but i was more impressed than i thought i’d be. it was just ashame i only got to spend the day there ! next time i go, i’d like to stay over night or something, so i can experience day + night life.
i met dom for the first time, which was cool. saw julia again which was absolutely lovely, i love her :) + i saw tony for the first time in a year ! it was reeeeeally nice. beautiful weather again, too !
got myself a gaga t shirt, even though i wanted to get a ‘i <3 brighton’ one :’) i’ll get one of those next time !
absolutely shattered now, but all in all a really nice day :)

20/04/10

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 16:49:10 -0400

today has been really lovely. well, it’s had very good points, then very bad. s’weird. but anyway.
had my meeting with lincoln, the head of media this morning. everything went very well. he explained the course to me, asked me what i was into etc. it seems alot more ‘me’ than fine art does, + i’m definitely happy to give it a try. i get to get back into writing again, which i’m actually weirdly looking forward to. all i have to do is get in touch with fine art + withdraw myself from the course, + then fill out the course transfer forms. i get back in contact with lincoln, + he then signs me onto the course. :)
seriously happy right now. sorting my uni life out is exactly what i needed for my life to start looking up !

me + jess went into town after. i done a spot of shopping + got some bargain dresses in h+m ! :) after that we came back home, + then drove down to the beach + spent a couple of hours there. the weather was so, so lovely. just sat infront of the sea, listening to my ipod + being generally happy. it was seriously nice to feel good again, as i’ve been having a serious downer for the past few days. well actually, months.

anyway, all good things must come with a bad, right? i came home to my ex girlfriend, basically attempting to kill herself. i’m not one for exaggerating, but it definitely was one of the worst things i’ve ever witnessed. it’s not my business to go into her problems, but after taking the alcohol away, forcing shit loads of water down her throat, getting her to go to sleep + then talked to me, i think she’s now okay. made me think alot though. if i ever lost her, ugh. i cant even think about it.

ohohoh. on a lighter note ! yesterday i started my thigh piece :) got an anchor, about the size of my hand, on my thigh :) i absolutely love it, + will eventually go back to get it shaded with different blues. mmhm.
oh, + i bought tickets for the summertime ball :) artist’s that have been confirmed so far are JLS, cheryl cole, usher, justin bieber, kesha, dizzee rascal + rihanna ! i’m taking emily for her birthday, as it’s the day after. :) should be worth the money, i think !

that’ll do for now. i’m gna snuggle in bed, gossip with jess, + watch shit loads of friends dvds !

18/04/10

Sun, 18 Apr 2010 16:38:00 -0400

i hate hayfever. i’ve been ill in bed, all day. i feel like absolute death + it’s been a horrible end to my easter holiday’s back home. again, being bored has caused me to think too much + worry about things that probably aren’t worth worrying about.
no one has bothered to talk to me. no one i care about, anyway. the main people i’d want to talk to when i’m feeling shit haven’t been around. so instead i’ve spent the day feeling even more shit than i physically do being ill.

i also just deleted facebook. i have so many ‘friends’ on there, that clearly dont give a fuck about me. i just dont want people wasting my life anymore. i’ve had to deactivate my account for 2 weeks before it can be permanently deleted. after that 2 weeks, i’ll consider whether i want a new account. if i got facebook back, i’d want a fresh start. everything completely new, + just have people on there that are actually my friends, not just nosey arseholes.

i actually cannot wait to go back to portsmouth tomorrow now, + thats not something i thought i’d be saying.

17/04/10

Sat, 17 Apr 2010 14:08:54 -0400

i actually hate my life at the moment. so fucking boring, + so many let down’s.

16/04/10

Fri, 16 Apr 2010 17:54:07 -0400

so for the past few days i stayed with emily. it was really nice, but y’know after you’ve had a really good few days, it seems to be only logical in my life that things then turn shit again. it probably doesn’t help that i’m home, on my own, with nothing to do on a friday night. but either way, i’ve been feeling pretty rough.

last night was okay. not as good as i wanted it to be, but it was still nice to see some familiar faces + see some alright bands. today me + emily just chilled, watched the proposal, + then i finally came home to where i tidied my room then sat here bored out of my brain.

at the moment i’m feeling abit used, lied to, + just like i’m so far out from everybody else. i feel like there’s not much to look forward to + my life is just spiraling downwards. just when i think things are starting to look up, i end up feeling poo again + it’s becoming such a regular routine now, that i’m starting to not look forward to anything. i’m kinda dreading going back to uni cause i feel like the girls would’ve got on with things without me, + i’ll just be spending time stuck alone in my room again. i really miss keira though, so it’ll be good to see her again.
i have a meeting with the head of media on tuesday. i absolutely have to go, as i’ve made a terrible first impression by missing my last meeting with him. i’m really serious about changing my course next year. starting again, + actually doing it right this time. there is no way i’d be able to catch up with fine art now, + if i’m completely honest, i dont even want to. i’ve lost any interest in art + creativity. i want to get back into writing, analyzing, + having abit more structure on a course instead of it being so free.

i really hope things start to get better for me. right now, i feel so down.

14/04/10

Wed, 14 Apr 2010 18:27:08 -0400

it’s funny how i pretty much live all my life without explanation. just when things look up for me, something comes + shits all over it. i know the whole ‘i give up’ thing is such a cliche over-reaction, but i’m starting to wonder if i really just should. guys take me for a fucking mug, + i get picked up + dropped more times than i can remember. girls aren’t any better, either. why is no one ever just interested in me, for me? am i seriously asking that much?

ugh. i’m in a terrible mood now. tomorrow is gna be absolute shit.

13/04/10

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 13:04:01 -0400

i had a very busy, but good day yesterday. i came down from harlow to chingford, which always involves a 7am start so i can get a lift down with my mum in the morning. met charlie at lunchtime, done abit of shopping in walthamstow + oxford street. met jess afterwards, then we spontaneously decided to go to lakeside. i hadn’t been there in aaaages ! didn’t really buy much, but i did buy a justin bieber poster, which i am now beginning to question…
we went for a drive after a quick visit to the ford to see james, + then saw chloerayne. didn’t get home until just before midnight + i was absolutely shattered. good though, cause i like being busy :) ended up sleeping like a baby, too !

today i’ve tidied + packed, as i’m off to stay at emily’s for a few days :) her parents are away again, so we’re gna make our little beds on the sofa’s + spend the days chillin’, gossipin’, bitchin’ + laughin’. i miss her loads, so i cant wait.

11/04/10

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 11:30:54 -0400

i’ve done alot of thinking over the past 2 days. just general thinking, y’know? who my friends are, who is really worth my time, why i’m here. all that sort of stuff. the last week i’ve had a fair share of up’s + downs, but right now, i’m happy.

i’m working out alot of things. not only about other people, but about myself. i’m really coming to the point now where i honestly dont give a shit about people’s negative opinions.
after a load of drama on tumblr last night, i’ve realised the only way people believe they can insult be is by calling me fat, or a slag. fat i can handle, i also dont care. i’ve said this many times before, but insults about weight are just primary school behaviour. i have mirrors, i look in them everyday. i know what i am. people hiding behind anonymous ‘insults’ dont make me feel any worse about myself. if anything, i just laugh at the pure immatureness of it all.
also being branded a slag for being open about my sex life. y’know what, if that makes me a slag, then so be it. compared to alot of people i know of, i have a fair bit of dignity + i shall continue to go about things the way i want.

i dont care about popularity anymore. no, i dont think i’m ‘tumblr famous’, i just know i have alot of followers + i appreciate them all the same as i would, if i only had 1/2. anyone that cares to sit through my endless generic posts of gaga, hating life, + photo’s, is a hero. i also dont pretend to like people anymore.

yes, i’m a bitch. i’d like to meet someone who isn’t. at the end of the day, no one can dish out insults of being bitchy, especially not girls. they do exactly the same thing, they just dont get caught.

moral of the story is, i dont give a fuck anymore. i’ve got my best friend, i’ve got my family, i’ve got a small handful of close friends, i’ve got my homes. i’ve got anything i need + care about. all the rest, can go get fucked.